My take on Masturbation and No FAP

This will be my first post after a gap of almost 2 years, the reason for the gap being that I lost interest in blogging and also, I devoted a year into UPSC CSE prep, ultimately failing miserably in my very first attempt.

Now, coming back to the context, the single most things which I want to alter in my life is to recover the amount of semen I have released knowingly (masturbation, not taking into consideration nightfall), there is no scientific explanation from my side on why I want to do it, but believe when I say this.

I started the act when I was in 5th Grade, and since then lost glow on my face and the magnetism which was inherent in me i.e. I used to get attention from people.

I lost my physical vitality due to it, though I was addicted to working out, this act halved my capacity.

The damage my brain incurred from it is even more gruesome, I atteined forgetfulness out of nowhere and foggy brain was a daily occurance.

Lower back pain and rib cage pain after multiple fap sessions used to make me unproductive, I lost my deep voice due to over indulgence in it.

The time I spent on searching for that one good moment or picture to fap on will never be there again.

I am writing this blog right after fapping 3x and a regret note, I do not know when will I be able to quit it. 
I feel unmanly right after doing it, it deprives me of all ambition and desire.